You're so nebulous sometimes
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
