last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
