i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
