Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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