Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize