When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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