Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
