how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
