she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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