I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
