Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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