i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
