i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
