I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
