did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
