I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
