yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
