some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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