you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
