Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
