Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
