I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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