And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
