I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
