"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
