I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
