We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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