I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
