I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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