the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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