Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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