The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize