If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
