Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
