Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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