Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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