Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
