Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think I am morally bankrupt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
