therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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