North Korea, Best Korea!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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