So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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