Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
