Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
