I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
