We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
