is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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