ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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