If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a burrito and a hug.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
