They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
there is puke in my bra ... again
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