3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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