I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize