Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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