omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
