FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize