After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
