operation harelip BJ is a go
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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