dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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